Personal essays
Adjustments over time
Happy New Year
I’ve talked before about how I treat the different new years throughout the year differently.
We’ve just passed the Jewish New Year where I consider the kind of person I am and make little tweaks to my living principles.
These aren’t things like exercising more or eating better. These are more about how I want to treat other people and how I want to comport myself.
I am by nature quite introverted and so when Rosh Hashanna began, I was in my hotel room quietly decompressing after three days of attending NSSpain.
I delivered a workshop on the first day, served as co-host on stage for the next two days, and closed the conference as the slide keyboard advance man for a road show of James Dempsey and the Breakpoints.
It meant that I had a lot to do during the conference and I spent the breaks, mornings, and evenings with other speakers and attendees.
It was both wonderful and exhausting.
The hallway track
This is the second year of conferences coming back, and as much as I enjoyed remote conferences, they really aren’t the same.
Saturday morning I went down to breakfast and ran into - and joined - Frank. I’ve met Frank over the years at conferences all over Europe and always enjoy catching up with him. While we were seated, Kamil asked if he could join us.
I’d never met Kamil before and, except for seeing his presentation the day before, knew nothing about him.
By the time I headed upstairs after breakfast we’d made a connection and will be happy to see each other next time we meet.
It’s those chance encounters that can’t be replicated online.
People try breakout rooms, but they don’t replace the chance meetings while grabbing a coffee during a break.
The so-called hallway track is always the best track of any conference no matter how good the speakers are.
In fact, NSSpain sells out every year long before the speakers are announced and the organizers have a policy of not bringing back speakers. It means the attendees are coming for the great talks they trust the organizers will schedule, but also for the feel of the conference and for the community.
Hugs
So Friday night I thought about who I have become and who I want to be.
There can always be improvements.
One thing I wondered was, “when did I become a hugger?”
I’m generally private and not that emotive but when I greet a friend I now will often hug them.
I don’t know why or when. Maybe stopping handshakes during the height of the COVID epidemic makes me welcome hugs more now.
I don’t know.
It is objectively not like me. And yet it’s who I’ve become. So it is objectively me.
One of the traditions of NSSpain is that the entire conference visits a winery after the first full day of sessions.
It’s always a beautiful location that begins with a tour of the winery and ends with a party featuring wine and food.
One speaker came up and told me that he’d overheard a group of attendees referring to me by a nickname that cast me as an elder in our community.
“Are you offended?” he asked.
I wasn’t.
I was actually a little touched.
These hugs seem to be working.
Essay from Dim Sum Thinking Newsletter 182. Read the rest of the Newsletter or subscribe